I want to prepare for Pesach properly through Torah study and prayer, but instead I find that I need to be busy with cleaning and shopping.
Of course, you should try to grab time for Torah study in middle of everything you’re busy with, and to be firm to daven at set times with a Minyan.
But don’t become overwhelmed by all the obstacles that you have to endure. They are there for a purpose, and they are actually the only reason why you’re here in this world.
This can be understood with the analogy of a watch. In a watch, there is a spring which is bent backwards and naturally tries breaking free to jump forward, but is held back by the gears. The gears only allow the spring to be released forward bit by bit at the pace of seconds and minutes. If we would allow the spring the freedom to bounce forward straight away, the watch wouldn’t be able to keep time. Many machines are made in this fashion, by taking two opposing forces and creating a harmony between them.
This is the purpose of man in this world. Naturally, a person’s soul burns for Hashem. But Hashem wants us to declare His Kingship inside this world together with all of its problems and difficulties. Therefore He created an opposing force which separates a person and forcefully severs him from Torah and Tefilah and keeping his mind focused on a connection with Hashem. It’s all in order that a person should live in a reality which prevents him from serving Hashem and hides Hashem from him, and from within this reality to free oneself forward little by little. He thereby pulls the “gears”, the opposing force, with him to come closer to Hashem. Only in this way can we make wonderful Tikkunim above with our Avodas Hashem.
What should I do when I don’t see myself becoming free at all?
Sometimes the force which is keeping us away from holiness is so strong that a person can become overwhelmed. It seems to him as if it’s impossible to serve Hashem in the place where he is. But this is a mistake.
To go back to the analogy of the watch, it would be like a spring which is sometimes pulled back so strongly that it becomes bent and stops bouncing forwards. So too, the numerous obstacles can grab a person and bend him, until he gives in and says, “That’s it, I can’t!”
We have to know that there really aren’t two equal forces which are standing opposite each other. The real stronger force is the natural pull that a person feels towards Hashem. Obstacles are only for the purpose of making a “vessel” and a “machine”. You for sure have the ability to overcome everything.
It’s just like gravity which holds on to everything in the world. When a person throws something he needs to break the hold of gravity which the world naturally has on that object. But that break is only temporary, because after the force of his throw is finished, the object is immediately pulled back down.
We also have to remember that there’s no such thing as “I’m not being allowed to serve Hashem.” The Rebbe stands against this attitude and screams, “There is no such thing as despair!”
Remember who you are. Your soul is really always being pulled above. Whatever you can’t do at this moment is only because of ‘temporary’ obstacles which are getting a hold of you. But you are stronger than them. You can’t be entirely bent and broken. The more you keep this in mind, the more you will strengthen your yearning and longing for Hashem.
You should therefore arouse a yearning for Avodas Hashem even at times when you are unable to actually serve Hashem. As much as you will pull yourself forward, you will merit freeing points of holiness for yourself little by little. Not only will you practically be able to grab many Mitzvos and much good, but even with the yearning itself you elevate the entire world to Hashem.
For example, if you have to go out into the street to take care of things, or you are standing on a ladder cleaning or plastering and you remind yourself that the only thing you want is to be close to the Creator, you have just sanctified the street or the ladder. Places which are usually in the dominion of anxiety and anger or just plain materialism, are pulling with you into holiness, just like the spring in the watch which controls the gears.
What do I achieve by pulling the obstacles into holiness?
You’ve built in your heart a Mishkan, a Sanctuary for Hashem. This is why it’s called a “MiSHKaN”, because it’s “MoSHeKh”, the pull of gravity through which you bring G-dliness into everything which is hiding Hashem from you.
Don’t say that these are concepts which are too high for you. Mishkan is also a “MaSHKoN”, a security with which Hashem promised that He will always be with us even when we sin. This is why Hashem gave us the Mishkan after we fell into the sin of the Egel, the Golden Calf, to remind everyone that Hashem dwells upon each individual. You have the ability to arise and to rectify all situations in your life, if you will just pull yourself forward with a yearning for Hashem.
Everything depends on humility. When a person keeps in mind that he only wants to honor Hashem and doesn’t think about his own personal success, and the more he makes himself like dust, he merits that Hashem says “I will dwell by the downtrodden.” His faith that Hashem dwells with him is strengthened. He starts to understand that everything that he’s going through is a mission and an appointment from the King, that the King Himself has sent him to conquer and annex distant territories into the realm of holiness, to build another Mishkan in the desert, in a place of snakes and scorpions, by being strong to pull himself forward from the forces which are holding him back.
This is what we are praying for when we say, “Let my soul be like dust for everyone.” We should merit being like the ground which has the power of gravity to pull everything towards it.
How do we attain this ability?
As we said, the building of the Mishkan was through Klal Yisroel. Each person brought his own portion. Everyone has his own unique mission through which the Divine Presence dwells in this world, according to his own personal trials.
But even after the Mishkan was ready, they needed Moshe to erect it. The Tzaddik is the foundation of the world. He has reached true humility until he has literally become like dust, having the gravity to pull Hashem into this world and to pull the whole world to Hashem.
The more we become closer to Tzaddikim, study their Sefarim and give charity to the poor, we merit truly being drawn after Hashem and to draw all our surroundings and all our obstacles and concealments into holiness, to bring the Divine Presence to dwell below.
Now is the time. “Rosh Chodesh Nissan is the Rosh Hashanah for kings.” Everyone in Klal Yisroel now receives his appointment for the coming year in order to receive new abilities to draw G-dliness into one’s trials and obstacles.
(Based on Likutei Moharan I 70, Likutei Halachos Yom Tov 5)